Fence-sitting

I am proud to be a fence-sitter.

When I was a little girl, I loved to climb the fence and peer into the neighbour’s backyard. It was a whole different world. The yard was covered in concrete, except for the veggie patch where strange and unusual things were growing. There were unfamiliar aromas drifting from the kitchen, and from the huge brick garage came even stranger smells. I could hear voices, but I couldn’t understand a word they were saying.

This was the beginning of my fence-sitting life.

So many will tell you to get off the fence. Make a decision. Choose a side.

But I don’t. Why should I choose one side over the other? I can’t do that.

I see you both. I see both sides of the story—because I sit on the fence.

If there’s a fence in the way, I cannot see you. I cannot hear your story. I cannot feel your joy or your pain. I have no frame of reference. I am blind to your world.

But when I climb the fence, I can see you. I begin to understand who you are and what matters to you. I can feel what you’re feeling. I can see what you see.

From my place on the fence, I can also see the other person. I can witness their story, their joy and their struggles. I understand what is important to them—just as I understand what is important to you.

A fence is just something that blocks us from understanding. It keeps us from experiencing a new way, a new perspective. It stops us from walking in someone else’s shoes. It blocks compassion.

So—who is on the other side of your fence? Can you see them? Can you feel them? Climb up. Sit on the fence for a while. Take in the view of someone else’s life.

I discovered the joy of fence-sitting as a little girl. All I wanted was to play with the children I heard on the other side. It didn’t matter that they didn’t speak English, wore different clothes, or ate different food. We were just little girls. We saw past all that—and opened a new world to one another.

Take a look over the fence. It might seem strange at first… but one day, you may find those once unfamiliar sights, sounds, and flavours becoming a natural part of your own world.